Living Anxiously

Anxiously Ann

Know Thyself — April 4, 2019

Know Thyself

scenic view of forest during night time
Photo by Hristo Fidanov on Pexels.com

I was reading my star chart and I was hit with a universal download of information.

The reading on me was crazy accurate and it was the first star chart reading of myself I have ever done.

It honestly didn’t say much about me that I didn’t already know, but it did help me create more awareness on some of my negative traits that I needed to be more mindful of going into the future.

The information that came to me was this.

Self-awareness leads to self-actualization and self-actualization leads to enlightenment.

Now this is not new information to me, but this information made me think about my husband.

My husband and I have been off for a while now. We love each other and we enjoy one another’s company, but something has just felt off.

We don’t mesh well at times, we are continuously misunderstanding one another, and we can’t seem to get in sync or flow together in harmony.

(I love you honey if you’re reading this. Just had to be real for a minute.)

Why?

I believe the answer is simple.

“To know thyself is the beginning of all wisdom”

This quote is often given credit to Socrates so that is who I’ll give credit to.

I have been asking my husband for some time now to try to understand me better, but what I should have been asking is “understand yourself better”. My reasoning is this: how can you really understand someone without first understanding yourself?

If you were to really do some soul searching and dig down deep to understand the essence that is “you”, then you would be able to be more intuitive to the people around you. If you can understand your own behaviors and why you do things it will help you understand why others do what they do.

Not everyone wants to “soul search”. Not everyone wants to look into what makes them “them”.  The reason is usually because it is not always “pretty” to take a good hard look at ourselves.

It certainly wasn’t easy for me so I understand the desire to stay “blissfully unaware”.

I know that is more than likely my husband’s biggest barrier into “finding himself”.  I can feel through subtext that there are ways he used to be that he may regret and there are mistakes that he has made that he would rather not relive, but if we hide from who we were then we are not freeing ourselves up to be who we were meant to be.

All we are doing is running.

We are running from who we use to be and running away from who we were meant to be. We are keeping ourselves in a perpetual never changing limbo in an ever changing world.

We don’t know who we are, because we never asked who we were.

We can’t be who we were meant to be, because we never questioned what needed to change.

So, therefore we don’t change.

I have a whole post on our metamorphoses that I’ll share with you soon.

I’ve been asking my husband to better understand me when I should have been asking him to better understand himself.

I make mistakes too. It is part of being human. How we respond to our mistakes determines whether we grow as a person or stay stagnant.

It can only improve your quality of life to know more about yourself and searching for self-awareness is never selfish, because how can you give your whole self over to the one you love if you don’t know who your whole self is?

If you have never asked “Who am I?” or “Who do I want to be?”, then I urge you to take some time for yourself to get to know yourself.  If you don’t like the picture that you see of yourself then you have the beautiful opportunity to create the best version of yourself. To work towards being who you were really meant to be. You just have to be aware first.

I’m going to encourage my hubby to take time for himself. Not to think about me or us, but to find himself; to love himself. We all deserve that, don’t you agree?

You are all beautiful so BeYOUtiful!

Love Gently — March 27, 2019

Love Gently

adults blur close up dark
Photo by Inna Lesyk on Pexels.com

I thought I had it beat.
My anxiety.
I have gotten dramatically better at handling all the curveballs that life throws at me. Any big changes I was handling like a champ.

You go so long feeling good, you’re nerves aren’t a constant source of torment for you, but then something happens.
It can be something so little.

As little as going to the grocery store and asking the cashier for stamps.
The idea comes in your head.
Then you feel it.
The tingling sensation down your legs. The cringy feeling in your gut. The little voice in your head that tells you to run. You can’t do this.

You know it’s irrational, but that doesn’t make the feeling go away.

Sure you could tell yourself it’s no big deal and just to concur your anxiety, but what if you can’t?

Then what if you have someone you loved who asked you to do it and then insisted on you giving them an explanation as to why you can’t do something so “simple”?

So great. On top of feeling anxious about a social encounter you have someone making you feel ridiculous for not being able to do it.

Not that you needed help feeling ridiculous. Anxiety’s got that covered for you.

Anxiety is a fickle thing.
It comes and goes at it’s own pleasure.
It could lie dormant for years and pop up at the most random time in your life.
It could happen for the smallest reason or no reason at all.

Anxiety will make you scared to do something and then make you feel inadequate for not being able to do it.

Please, I urge you. If you love someone with anxiety and they tell you that something makes them feel anxious to do, don’t make them feel bad.

Please, don’t act as if it was just a simple request. That they should be able to do it, because if you could do it, then they should be able to as well, right?

No. They can’t and it doesn’t have to make sense to you. It shouldn’t have to make sense you anyway. Not if you really love them.

You don’t have to understand your loved one’s reasons for things, but what you can do is understand anxiety and that there will never be a rhyme or reason to it.

The more you push someone with anxiety, the worse you make the situation.

They are already feeling anxious, then inadequate. Do you really want to add guilt to the list? Plus, there’s the lonely feeling that comes along with having anxiety and already feeling as if no ones understands.

The best thing you can do when you love someone with anxiety is to love them gently.

Love Gently.

Let them know that it’s ok if they can’t do something that seems small to you. Let them know that there is nothing wrong with them and that they are not alone. That you support them and love them and no amount anxiety will ever change that.

Make them feel safe to come to you with feelings of anxiety. That you will not only understand, but protect them from anxiety and essentially themselves.

Just love them gently and often and you will be fine. It will get easier.

The last thing we want to do is take a small moment of anxiety and create an avalanche of feelings and emotions, cause then your work as their loved one becomes harder.

So just love them gently.

Create that as a mantra for yourself if you must. A little reminder to love them gently.

Those of us with anxiety know that your job to love us is not easy. We know how irrational we sound. We know it doesn’t make sense. We don’t always understand it ourselves.

Two words is all we are ever really looking to hear in those situation.

“I understand”.

If you substituted “I don’t understand” out for “I understand”. You take away their feeling of being alone and you create a sense of peace and security.

You make them feel safe. You validate their feelings.

Someone with anxiety walks around feeling misunderstood. To understand is to love.

To be understood is to feel loved.

It gives anxiety no where to go. No fuel to continue to burn and will quickly extinguish.

So please my dears. Love Gently.

Finding Yourself When You Feel A Little Lost — February 9, 2018

Finding Yourself When You Feel A Little Lost

pexels-photo-839370.jpeg

It is now February and 2018 is only just beginning. For me this year is about new opportunities and finding myself.

Yes, I know I’m 30 years old.
Yes, I know I shouldn’t have to find myself.

Honey, I have lost myself and found myself so many times that I can’t keep count.

We do that you know. All of us.
We are rarely ever the same person we use to be.

I wonder if that is what Alice in Wonderland was all about? That people are constantly changing.
We are different people when we go to bed than we were when we woke up that morning.

Sometimes we can lose interest in things we used to be interested in. We can lose interest before we even have a chance to develop new interests.

So now we’re stuck in a sort of “in between”. Maybe we lose sight of who we are. This is the time that I go on a journey, an adventure if you will, to find myself.

What do I like to do now? What will make me happy? These old things don’t feel like me anymore.

This is the best time to try new things. Go just a little outside of your comfort zone and find what makes you happy. Find yourself.

This year I am taking this journey and sharing with you any ups and downs I may have, any thoughts or views of life I may discover, or things I find help me relieve my struggles and live happy.

This year I take back my life and find myself all over again.

If you are having trouble finding yourself, take some time to think about what makes you happy.
Take that yoga class you have been wanting to take.
Read that book you bought 3 months ago, but still haven’t picked up.
Try new things and find what makes you happy.

Let this be the year of happiness!